Friday, January 13, 2006
About Death and Life
Couple days back, Monday, news reached me about my secondary 4 teacher passing away due to a sudden heart attack the day before. Choosing to put aside some personal agendas, I decided to meet up with some old friends to go for her wake at St Joseph's Church, on Victoria Street [the irony, really].
In anycase, at about 5 in the afternoon, I left my place and grabbed a cab down to meet Sara at City Hall only to find that the meeting place had changed to Bugis. It didn't really bug me very much so I met Sara and we took a train down together to meet the twins. We wondered around looking for them, spotted them and waited a minute or so more and Simmie turned up, as well as Vanessa.
So that makes...er...Simmie, Vanessa, Sara, Geraldine and me. Oh wait, there was Marilyn too. So that makes, er....6, nice and even. Okay, so from there, we went on to the church, after sara stopped to pick up some snacks and a drink.
We got there just as the body arrived and saw quite a few people from the 'old school'. Frankly, I don't miss any of them, most of them were sad. Ms Devi [the deceased in question]'s sister, wasn't though, she was nice and all. I think she took it very well. After all, the passing of a person should be celebrated, you only mourn the things you did or did not say, and the things you did or did not do and the things you cannot do anymore.
Death is a release from the prison that is life. There is nothing more to it. Life is the intermediate stage between non existance you 'experiance' during the consumation of your parents and your death. Life is for you to enjoy, the answer to life, simply, is peace with yourself. As long as you are at peace, there is nothing to hold you back, and you will be ready to leave at any time, should you need to do so. For if life holds many regrets for you then you are living it wrong.
It is impossible to not make mistakes, but mistakes are made for learning, without them, you will never know what you did or did not do, what you should or should not do, what you can or cannot do. You should be content with your mistakes, recognise them and learn from them where possible. When you do not understand, approach others so as to not hold yourself back.
Do not hold on to anger or sadness for they are distractions and should not mean anything to you. Anger merely makes you an enemy of the world and unsettles your internal balance. When you cannot let go of anger, you are doomed to spend your life miserable. Sadness is sometimes good, but not when it becomes depression. Depression stems from not understanding yourself and others around you. Seek to understand, no matter how much pain it may cause you because when you understand you set yourself free.
Learn to be carefree, when there is too much bothering you, you will feel confined and stressed. This will curb your ability to enjoy life and thus make life not worthwhile to you. Learn to ignore untruths that others speak, for as long as you know it not to be true, it matters no more. Only when you are too concerned with proving your innocents do you know that they speak somewhat truly of you.
NEVER consider the route of suicide, for it is cowardly. When you think about suicide, you think of freeing only yourself temporarily and yet dooming yourself to be bound to your regrets forever. You think of only yourself and not of those who must live on without you. You make others suffer because of your selfishness.
Always speak truly when possible. When you deem something wrong, speak up, although sometimes the situations call for tact and thus it must be applied accordingly. However, never withhold from making a truth known or bringing up problems for while it may seem hurtful at the moment you speak, know that it will free someone in the end. It serves no one any good to be kept in the dark when others are speaking behind you. Should you have something you feel strongly must be said, say it and expect no less from others.
NEVER say you are open minded as you only as open minded as you think you are. There are limitations to how open minded a person can be, no matter how much you insist on being open minded. No one can truly be open minded. It is simply impossible. There will always be someone or something you will be prejudiced against. The best you can do is try to learn and accept things as they are, for learning is always a reason for life.
Always live life the way you want to, no matter what others say. It's your life and you must be the one happy with it.
Anyway, back to the story. So there we were and there was the body. We were called to walk around the coffin for a 'last' look, which wasnt really a last look as we had a look before we left, but you understand the sentiment. Well, personally, I didn't take a close look.
I didn't see the point of remembering her in death, when I could remember her in life. Why would I chose to remember how she look only when she was dead, as opposed to when she was alive? I most certainly had happier memories of her alive then when she was dead. Remembering someone in life, is always more important. There is no need to act like she was important to you dead, if she wasn't important to you alive. It is insincere and highly dishonorable.
So after the look, we went to a table and sat down and started talking randomly. Mostly about Ying and about our history as students of class 4/1. Indeed we were happier then, and yes, there were things that we could have done to fix the problems in our friendships. Seeing as how I didn't cause most of the problems [none that I can think of actually], I didn't see it as my place to bring up the problems. So we sat and talked and gossiped. Time passed, and we went for a last look. This time I chose to take a slightly better look. To try and understand myself, what it means to truly be at peace at death.
After which we left and went for dinner and a round at the arcade and then we went home. It was most enjoyable, seeing 'old' friends again, and seeing 'old' teachers as well, despite the sad air, it was most certainly not a wasted trip.
SONG TRIBUTE
"The Prayer" by Celine Dion with Andre Bocelli
I pray you'll be our eyes, and watch us where we go
And help us to be wise in times when we don't know
Let this be our prayer, when we lose our way
Lead us to the place, guide us with your grace
To a place where we'll be safe
La luce che tu dai (I pray we'll find your light)
Nel cuore restera (and hold it in our hearts)
A ricordarci che (when stars go out each night)
Eterna stella sei (ooh...)
Nella mia preghier (let this be our prayer)
Quanta fede c'e (when shadows fill our day)
Help us find a place, guide us with your grace
Give us fait so we'll be safe
Sogniamo un mondo senza piu violenza
Un mondo di guistizia e di speranza
Ognuno dia la mano al vicino
Simbolo di pace, di fraternita
La forza che ci da (we as that life be kind)
E desiderio che (and watch us from above)
Ognuno trove amore (we hope each soul will find)
Interno ed entro se (another soul to love)
Let this be our prayer (let this be our prayer)
Just like every child (just like every child)
Who needs to find a place, guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we'll be save
Nella fede che
Ha accesso in noi
Sento che ci salvera
Luel Eclipse Reinhardt@ 6:44 AM
