Sunday, April 30, 2006
havent really been thinking the past few days. and I mean
really thinking. and before the rest of you can argue that anything we do is an actual thought that is processed before we act out on it, i don't mean that sort of thinking. in a strange way, it isnt really thinking, is more of functioning. we do what we need to do, mostly, and den go our own way here and there, not really bothering whether we do or do not, and mostly do
not think, about what we are doing.
the question at this point would then be, what is thought? is thought the precoursor of an action regardless of what the action may actually be, since thinking in itself is actually an action should you choose to think about it that way. in relation, the next question would still be, if a tree branch falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? following which would be what is sound? sound is something we hear, and meaningful sound, is communication, at the most basic level, since even instrumental music can communicate to a person.
[as i'm typing this i'm playing poker solitaire on powerpets, so forgive the laspes and jumps in thoughts]
going back to the previous question about the sound in the forest, i would have to say that yes, it makes a sound, since technically, no one refers to a person in particular, and realistically, the forest is home to creatures and plants that can hear, yes, trees can hear, it has been proven that plants respond to music both positively and negatively, and thus, they will 'hear' the sound. And if no one is there to say that there is no sound, there must be sound, and if someone is there to say there is no sound, well...that's an oxymoron in itself since the person would probably have heard it since he/she was there, not accounting for the fact that the party who is trying to prove that there is no sound has sent a deaf person to prove their point, because then that person can't hear to begin with and there was never any sounds in his/her life unless prior to the deafness if the person was not born with it, and if the deaf person was actually near enough to the aforementioned branch, he/she could probably have felt the vibrations it made as it landed, and assuming that a deaf persons's sense of touch is more sensitive than an average persons', which is should be considering that the four senses have to make up for the lost one, the vibrations that the deaf person heard could tranlsate into sound since sound is made up of vibrations anyway.
[reading about CKND now...kinda forgotten what point i was trying to make now...oh ya]
back to the begining again then, so what is thought, in my pov, i suppose thought is anything thing that i can analyze as opposed to other regular neural responses, such as hunger [ reaching for something to eat], thirst, comfort, discomfort and etc. thought would be more like a line which prompts me to further think in depth about it. such as my thought about thoughts which caused this particular post. i think you can apply the logic about the sound in the forest to the thought in your head so you go figure.
Luel Eclipse Reinhardt@ 6:52 AM
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
day four of week three into SIP..so far its been okay...hate the morning rush to office though. Occasionally the guys come down for lunch or Leonard meets me for dinner after work. Avery is leaving sg for brunei soon sat we're thinking of going to red house for an adventure but we'll see how it goes.
so far i have done
lots of background artwork
some digital imaging
a bit of flash
er...
character design
website design
tt's all so far. almost half way done with SIP...not to much longer to go, cant believe that...gtg...bah...
Luel Eclipse Reinhardt@ 8:22 PM
Thursday, February 23, 2006
El Finito? I don't think so, got award ceremony today, think i drank too much coke last night, couldnt sleep -_- but ah well, don't feel too tired today. =D
Luel Eclipse Reinhardt@ 6:56 PM
finally bloggin, after like...a reaaaaaaaaaaally long time.
anyway, after a long time of slacking around, i finally got a company for SIP, internship, to VIR PTE LTD, aka Illuminations Media, at Tanjong Pajar, International Building. I work 9 hours a day, 9 ot 6. Get 600 a month. no big =D. okay...some big =P
went for the air show today, nothing big, much, the air show itself was not too bad, the in air acrobatics was quite okay. The booths and stuff themselves, weren't that great, got a volvo air craft engine poster and a candy piece. Saw some nice guns and equipment, but that was all really. waited at tampines for about half an hour plus for the others to arrive and took a half hour++ bus ride to get to the location. We left the area by walking along the REALLY windy beach, detoured to a playground for a while, ate lunch at changi villlage and left for orchard, where we proceeded to meet Roy at Marina Square, played two rounds of para and watched the guys play around before I left.
guys came back with me, we let elliot send daphne home, hope they end up together, they make an interesting couple.
we had a lot of fun at carl's junior. we laughed till our jaws hurt at the jokes and even planned to have a halloween party on Roy's bday.
looking for a new blogskin now. kinda random posting i know, but who cares.
was reading ying's blog and realized, once again, that i have, for the Nth time, been misunderstood. All i can say is that, I thought you guys knew me better than that, and if you didn't i don't see a point in carrying on the friendship.
firstly, just to clear things up, i did nothing but point out some rather obvious things, and den perhaps teased you guys about being a couple. [and yes, things from this pt forth, till noted, is directed at ying's post]
in order of what i'm recalling of what i tagged
first i think i tagged, 'tt;s cause your own gf is going rite? lol and you forgot vanessa and do you really think marilyn is gonna turn up?' [prior to this was that she wanted to plan a party and was writting down the names of who was 'invited' to which i asked, 'gongs only no more or less?' and she replied 'eh... and bfs/gfs if u want. But no friend of a friend of a friend like my birthday.']
about the friend of a friend of a friend thing, wasn't my fault, I did ask if leo and elliot were invited you did say yes, roy appearing wasnt my fault, it was elliot's. he didnt inform me that roy was coming until i saw roy. he does that often, but you get used to it. or rather I got used to it.
frankly, Marilyn hates me, hates you and hates sharon, don't know who else she hates, but when she gets around to telling me i'll let you know. That being a VERY obvious fact, I just asked if you REALLY thought she was going to come, or you were just asking to be polite, cause seriously, I don't see her coming and being happy to come.
and you did forget vanessa, although you said you couldn't contact her, i was just pointing it out. maybe not so much forget but didnt put her name in it.
as for 'tt's cause your own gf is going' well, she IS going isnt she? or are you guys cancelling it now? to which her reply was 'Lol. My gf is part of the gong family. I don't have vanessa's contact. Could you please contact her for me?' and ' Also, I added that cause alot of us are attached now to ppl who are NOT part of the gongs. So I added that in case their other halves would like to come.'
following which was me saying/tagging 'i cant contact her, i dun have her contact and its not alot of us, its all of us but you' are you telling me that i am WRONG to say that YOU are the only one who's gf is a gong? i'm not right, you yourself stated she is a gong, and thus I was just pointing it out. Take it however you wanna take it.
and that followed by 'I'm unsure if EVERYONE is attached so I said alot rather than all. If u are certain ALL of us are attached pls feel free to correct me.' tt's ying btw
i think at this point, we both misread each other's lines, so i'll leave it alone, and den sharon came it with.
'
sharon: why talk so much cock if u dun intend to go.. or are u intending to bring more freeloaders like the one u brought on yings bdae?? hurhur..'
firstly, if you weren't very happy that roy had joined us, you could've said so, unless you find us to be so much of strangers that you'd rather grin and bare it, your problem.
Also, sharon is in no position to say anything about freeloading, when she herself is a freeloader. or as i have pointed in my following tag, '@ sharon I'm a freeloader or YOU are a freeloader, oh i forgot your the GIRLFRIEND' anyone who knows THEIR situation, whether you wanna admit it or not, have at one point or another said that Sharon is fleecing Ying, which simply means, Sharon is using Ying for her cash. Sharon's impressive track record speaks for itself really. but not my problem.
personally i have never really brought anything up with sharon because i respect ying's wishes not to interfere.
As for me, cant make it on sat cause its caresse's bday and i'm expected to help, which i would rather do den go for a picnic, cause i dun really like picnics, bugs and grass and stuff. Or sand, and sea, depending on where you go.
I realized, finally, i'm a dofus; and yes the game is very fun, that I have, in fact, been 'bullied' by a lot of people and they seem to like taking turns. ah well, i suppose SOMEONE has to be the common enemy.
I seriously give up.
Luel Eclipse Reinhardt@ 5:55 AM
Sunday, January 22, 2006
hmm update for the week
monday, tuesday -> nothing much
wednesday -> went to see my uncle, waited three hours for him to see me in his office at NUS and got the inside of my left nostril cauterized. Simply means, the inside of my nose got burnt chemically. It clotted up and become this white/green clot/scab which dropped out yesterday. How else do you suppose I know it's white/green. It hurt like, well...hurt a bit, but it wasnt as bad as the scope he stuck up my nose...-_- ah well, and he was explaining everything so calmly to his intern too.
Man singaporeans are SO impatient. I felt kinda sorry for my uncle's helper, had to face all those horribly impatient people. She felt kinda bad for making me wait so long cause she didnt know I was supposed to see my uncle before everyone else. But since everyone was bugging her, I decided not to bother and just waited it out. I am, after all, a very patient person. Didn't bug me too much that I had to wait three hours to see him. No big.
Thursday -> went to buy cloth at Joo Chiat Complex, got my stuff for about 2.50 a meter, got cotten for 1.80 a meter though. Had a horrible steak for dinner and went home.
Friday -> took a bus to bugis, and walked around bugis village and Bugis junction before heading down to chinatown to buy my chinese new year clothes. Everyone there was nice to me =D auntie who sold me my clothes gave me a discount and kept saying i had such nice skin and that my mom musta done something with/about eggs -_-. Went to buy some candy, cost me 10 bucks for 500gms, some mochi and some jelly stuff and some other candy most of it was yummy. And went back to bugis to meet leonard and elliot. bought myself Mai HiME bk2 and leonard got me X bk 15.
We den made our way to meet the rest of the gang who was going for the EoY helper's treat. They have awesome cake at the Koco Cafe =D positively delicious =P sat between tama and elliot, with totchi on tama's left, leo opp me, with kheldar on leo's right and salad on kheldar's right, and zeo on totchi's left. den random girls plus sena, tomoyo and zeph at the other end of our long long table. Ate, slacked, talked and den left for home, where we slacked, ate and talked further, elliot, leo and me that is, watched some comedian called pablo and den leo's dad came to pick them up and they went home.
Joel can be such a puppy. He's like a dog. He only goes somewhere if a guy he knows is going. Can't and won't go anywhere on his own it seems. Gq's pet mostly if I had to say anything =D. He originally said he would go for the dinner at Koco cafe and den later decided he didnt want to go all because stanley probably wouldnt be going. Its not like he didnt know anyone there or wouldnt [i mean, I was going and my bf and elliot were going and he knows them] and even if he knew only me there, he could always make new friends non? And to think people say I'M anti-social. They probably haven't met him yet. Stanley couldn't make it cause he was on his way, but slept on the bus and missed his stop. He was kinda far away when he woke up and decided it would be too late for him to join us, he felt bad about it, but apologized for it =D more den I can say for the aforementioned male, but then again, I don't care to say much anymore.
Sat -> went to meet up with the sgcosplay.com forumers had a relatively quiet picnic that got more fun towards the end. Met some new people, can't remember all the names though. There was, Angela, Xing, Cosmos, Alex, Mau, Spider, Gem [whom i already know] and Jessikat [or however she spells it]. LOTS of chips courtesy of Alex, which had everyone bringing back one pack each at least cause there was so much. Comos aka Miyuki, brought some sandwhiches and Angela brought cream puffs and cheese and ham buns. Jep [forgot about her], brought a groundsheet for us to sit on as well as curry puffs from old chang kee. Spider bought fruit wine and me and leo brought drinks.
Rushed from DG to katong to see the tailor, handed over my cloth and will be picking up my costume in a few weeks. around the 15th of feb or so. Just in time for the thing on the 18th.
Sunday (today) -> stayed home. Finished my APEL paper, half of my digital essentials, my ppt for tomorrow's presentation and my script writting proposal. not too bad if i do say so myself. See, the things i can accomplish when i concentrate.
the end
Luel Eclipse Reinhardt@ 6:24 AM
Friday, January 13, 2006
About Death and Life
Couple days back, Monday, news reached me about my secondary 4 teacher passing away due to a sudden heart attack the day before. Choosing to put aside some personal agendas, I decided to meet up with some old friends to go for her wake at St Joseph's Church, on Victoria Street [the irony, really].
In anycase, at about 5 in the afternoon, I left my place and grabbed a cab down to meet Sara at City Hall only to find that the meeting place had changed to Bugis. It didn't really bug me very much so I met Sara and we took a train down together to meet the twins. We wondered around looking for them, spotted them and waited a minute or so more and Simmie turned up, as well as Vanessa.
So that makes...er...Simmie, Vanessa, Sara, Geraldine and me. Oh wait, there was Marilyn too. So that makes, er....6, nice and even. Okay, so from there, we went on to the church, after sara stopped to pick up some snacks and a drink.
We got there just as the body arrived and saw quite a few people from the 'old school'. Frankly, I don't miss any of them, most of them were sad. Ms Devi [the deceased in question]'s sister, wasn't though, she was nice and all. I think she took it very well. After all, the passing of a person should be celebrated, you only mourn the things you did or did not say, and the things you did or did not do and the things you cannot do anymore.
Death is a release from the prison that is life. There is nothing more to it. Life is the intermediate stage between non existance you 'experiance' during the consumation of your parents and your death. Life is for you to enjoy, the answer to life, simply, is peace with yourself. As long as you are at peace, there is nothing to hold you back, and you will be ready to leave at any time, should you need to do so. For if life holds many regrets for you then you are living it wrong.
It is impossible to not make mistakes, but mistakes are made for learning, without them, you will never know what you did or did not do, what you should or should not do, what you can or cannot do. You should be content with your mistakes, recognise them and learn from them where possible. When you do not understand, approach others so as to not hold yourself back.
Do not hold on to anger or sadness for they are distractions and should not mean anything to you. Anger merely makes you an enemy of the world and unsettles your internal balance. When you cannot let go of anger, you are doomed to spend your life miserable. Sadness is sometimes good, but not when it becomes depression. Depression stems from not understanding yourself and others around you. Seek to understand, no matter how much pain it may cause you because when you understand you set yourself free.
Learn to be carefree, when there is too much bothering you, you will feel confined and stressed. This will curb your ability to enjoy life and thus make life not worthwhile to you. Learn to ignore untruths that others speak, for as long as you know it not to be true, it matters no more. Only when you are too concerned with proving your innocents do you know that they speak somewhat truly of you.
NEVER consider the route of suicide, for it is cowardly. When you think about suicide, you think of freeing only yourself temporarily and yet dooming yourself to be bound to your regrets forever. You think of only yourself and not of those who must live on without you. You make others suffer because of your selfishness.
Always speak truly when possible. When you deem something wrong, speak up, although sometimes the situations call for tact and thus it must be applied accordingly. However, never withhold from making a truth known or bringing up problems for while it may seem hurtful at the moment you speak, know that it will free someone in the end. It serves no one any good to be kept in the dark when others are speaking behind you. Should you have something you feel strongly must be said, say it and expect no less from others.
NEVER say you are open minded as you only as open minded as you think you are. There are limitations to how open minded a person can be, no matter how much you insist on being open minded. No one can truly be open minded. It is simply impossible. There will always be someone or something you will be prejudiced against. The best you can do is try to learn and accept things as they are, for learning is always a reason for life.
Always live life the way you want to, no matter what others say. It's your life and you must be the one happy with it.
Anyway, back to the story. So there we were and there was the body. We were called to walk around the coffin for a 'last' look, which wasnt really a last look as we had a look before we left, but you understand the sentiment. Well, personally, I didn't take a close look.
I didn't see the point of remembering her in death, when I could remember her in life. Why would I chose to remember how she look only when she was dead, as opposed to when she was alive? I most certainly had happier memories of her alive then when she was dead. Remembering someone in life, is always more important. There is no need to act like she was important to you dead, if she wasn't important to you alive. It is insincere and highly dishonorable.
So after the look, we went to a table and sat down and started talking randomly. Mostly about Ying and about our history as students of class 4/1. Indeed we were happier then, and yes, there were things that we could have done to fix the problems in our friendships. Seeing as how I didn't cause most of the problems [none that I can think of actually], I didn't see it as my place to bring up the problems. So we sat and talked and gossiped. Time passed, and we went for a last look. This time I chose to take a slightly better look. To try and understand myself, what it means to truly be at peace at death.
After which we left and went for dinner and a round at the arcade and then we went home. It was most enjoyable, seeing 'old' friends again, and seeing 'old' teachers as well, despite the sad air, it was most certainly not a wasted trip.
SONG TRIBUTE
"The Prayer" by Celine Dion with Andre Bocelli
I pray you'll be our eyes, and watch us where we go
And help us to be wise in times when we don't know
Let this be our prayer, when we lose our way
Lead us to the place, guide us with your grace
To a place where we'll be safe
La luce che tu dai (I pray we'll find your light)
Nel cuore restera (and hold it in our hearts)
A ricordarci che (when stars go out each night)
Eterna stella sei (ooh...)
Nella mia preghier (let this be our prayer)
Quanta fede c'e (when shadows fill our day)
Help us find a place, guide us with your grace
Give us fait so we'll be safe
Sogniamo un mondo senza piu violenza
Un mondo di guistizia e di speranza
Ognuno dia la mano al vicino
Simbolo di pace, di fraternita
La forza che ci da (we as that life be kind)
E desiderio che (and watch us from above)
Ognuno trove amore (we hope each soul will find)
Interno ed entro se (another soul to love)
Let this be our prayer (let this be our prayer)
Just like every child (just like every child)
Who needs to find a place, guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we'll be save
Nella fede che
Ha accesso in noi
Sento che ci salvera
Luel Eclipse Reinhardt@ 6:44 AM
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
new blog
Lesse...new blog cause ppl say i should, oh well...
hmm scored 60/100 for a test i kinda studied for, not too bad, at least i passed.
got new bondage pants and a frilled shirt some time back, bout three weeks i think...pretty nice, also got a black/red netted shirt.
gonna make a gundam/eva thing for cosfest...not sure if i'll post my plans up here. Gonna do waitress asuka for the feb event.
need to do research and stuff on serial murderers cause that's what my documentary is on.
wanna know why someone is offended with me for so long, just wanna know what i did that's all...i mean if i offended you, at least tell me what i did...
erm...got an interview tomorrow
schools ending soon
herm...for xmas i got
a 15 inch powerbook
a fantasy art book
a pair of bondage pants
a kinda new phone
a box of chocolates
erm
undies
a shirt
er
body gloss
yep i think that's it
oh and cash of course.
Luel Eclipse Reinhardt@ 4:03 AM
Test test
testing testing uno dos tres
Luel Eclipse Reinhardt@ 4:03 AM
